Skip to content

Narcissism & Personality Disorders

Duplicitousness

Duplicitousness is deliberate deception, double-dealing, and presenting different faces to different audiences. It is a consistent feature of narcissistic functioning, though it operates differently than simple lying. In narcissism, duplicitousness serves the maintenance of the grandiose self-image (or to compensate for a fragile self image e.g. vulnerable narcissism) and the continuous acquisition of narcissistic supply.

This connects to Winnicott's concept of the false self: a compliant, socially adaptive exterior developed in response to early empathic failures that conceals the underdeveloped true self.

Kernberg (1975) noted the narcissist's capacity for superficial charm alongside profound deficits in genuine emotional investment, describing relationships characterised by idealisation of useful others and rapid devaluation when they cease to serve narcissistic needs.

Duplicitousness aligns with the antagonistic and manipulative dimensions captured by measures like the Pathological Narcissism Inventory and the broader Dark Triad literature linking narcissism with Machiavellianism.

Dichotomous Thinking

Black and white thinking. Good or bad, perfect or useless. Acting impulsively based on how you see someone. Also known as "black or white thinking". When people engage in dichotomous thinking, they see things in extremes - it's all or nothing; black or white; this or that. Use absolute language like "always" and "never" to describe things. Shifting between seeing things as good or bad.

Referential Ideation

The narcissist faces a stark choice - either be (or become) the permanent centre of the world, or cease to be altogether. This constant obsession with one's locus, with one's centrality, with one's position as a hub - leads to referential ideation ("ideas of reference"). Everything is about or against me.

Attentional Narrowing

Applies to pathological narcissism - if you have witnessed it, you will have seen pathological narcissism. The end goal is as rewarding as the process. So the narcissist finds chasing supply as rewarding, elevating as getting it.

Theodore Millon, Personality Disorders and Narcissism Traits

NPD is a disorder because it's dysfunctional as there are negative outcomes to the person with NPD. Disorder can't work in teams etc but traits they can.

Identity Diffusion

Identity diffusion is a state of not developing or possessing a distinct identity. Often, this is a result of a young person not yet developing a firm identity, or their identity has come to a state of crisis, and they haven't committed to a resolution.

Negative Identity Formation

Negative identity is an identity that is formed by identifying with roles opposed to societal expectations.

Ego Syntonic

Thoughts and behaviours that are inline with values. No guilt. Consistent self-image.

In personality disorders, many traits are often ego-syntonic, making individuals less likely to recognize their behaviours as dysfunctional or seek help. For instance, someone with narcissistic personality disorder might see their entitlement or need for admiration as justified rather than problematic.

e.g. psychopath acts in an ego syntonic way when being cruel.

Ego Dystonic

Thoughts and behaviours that aren't inline with values. Intrusive thoughts or unwelcome thoughts. Can include a desire to change.

Many people have ego-dystonic thoughts, but immediately recognize them as untrue, and move on with their day.

Disorders like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) - not a personality disorder but often confused as one - are typically ego-dystonic, as individuals with OCD recognize their intrusive thoughts and compulsions as irrational yet feel unable to stop them.

Narcissism as Inherited

Video reference

Childhood Narcissism Scale

The Childhood Narcissism Scale (CNS) is a psychological assessment tool designed to measure narcissistic traits in children. It assesses self-centeredness, a sense of superiority, entitlement, and a lack of empathy, which are characteristics of narcissistic behaviour observed in childhood.

Herbert Rosenfeld Narcissism

Herbert Rosenfeld was a psychoanalyst known for his work on narcissism. He focused on how internalized objects (representations of others) contribute to the development of narcissistic defences, which protect the self from feelings of vulnerability or annihilation.

Herbert Rosenfeld: Thick Skin and Thin Skin Narcissist

Rosenfeld distinguished between thick-skinned narcissists, who appear invulnerable and dismissive of others, and thin-skinned narcissists, who are hypersensitive to criticism and prone to feelings of humiliation. Both forms represent defences against underlying fragility.

Dark Triad

The Dark Triad is a term used to describe three personality traits that are considered malevolent: narcissism (excessive self-love and a sense of superiority), Machiavellianism (manipulative and deceitful behaviour), and psychopathy (lack of empathy and antisocial behaviour). These traits are often studied together due to their overlapping characteristics and their potential for causing harm in social and organizational contexts.

Dark Tetrad

The Dark Tetrad expands on the Dark Triad by adding a fourth trait: sadism (enjoyment of others' suffering). This addition emphasizes the more aggressive and harmful behaviours that can arise when these traits are present together, providing a more comprehensive understanding of toxic personality profiles.

Kohut

Kohut's self psychology proposed that narcissistic pathology results from parental empathic failures that prevent the child from developing internal self-regulatory capacities. The individual remains dependent on "selfobject" functions from others to maintain psychological equilibrium.

Winnicott

Winnicott similarly described how unresponsive or intrusive caregiving leads to a "false self" organised around others' needs rather than authentic self-expression.

Narcissistic Supply

The term originates from Otto Fenichel in his 1938 paper "The Drive to Amass Wealth" and later elaborated in The Psychoanalytic Theory of Neurosis (1945).

He wrote that such individuals "are dependent on narcissistic supplies from without in the same way as an infant is dependent on external supplies of food" (Fenichel, 1945, p. 40), describing how certain individuals require external supplies of admiration and affirmation in the same way an infant requires nourishment.

Heinz Kohut significantly expanded the concept through his development of self psychology in the 1970s. In The Analysis of the Self (1971) and The Restoration of the Self (1977). Kohut reframed narcissistic needs as developmental requirements rather than purely pathological phenomena. He introduced the concept of "selfobject" functions—the ways others serve to mirror, idealise, and provide a sense of twinship that supports self-cohesion

For Kohut, narcissistic supply becomes problematic when early developmental failures leave the individual with a "fragmented" or "depleted" self that remains chronically dependent on external validation (Kohut, 1971).

Otto Kernberg offered a contrasting perspective in Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism (1975). He viewed pathological narcissism as a defensive structure involving grandiosity, devaluation of others, and exploitation.

The term has been adopted extensively in clinical literature on narcissistic personality disorder. Elsa Ronningstam in Identifying and Understanding the Narcissistic Personality (2005) describes how individuals with NPD organise their relationships around obtaining narcissistic supply, often through charm, achievement, or controlling others' perceptions.

Aaron Pincus and Mark Lukowitsky (2010) in their review of narcissism research note the distinction between grandiose and vulnerable narcissistic presentations, both of which involve dysregulated needs for external validation but manifest differently—grandiose narcissism through assertive supply-seeking, vulnerable narcissism through hypersensitivity to perceived slights.

Narcissistic Supply vs. Needing Authentic Human Connection

Baumeister and Leary's (1995) belongingness hypothesis established that humans have a universal need for frequent, positive interactions within stable bonds marked by mutual concern for each other's welfare.

Self-Determination Theory identifies relatedness - feeling connected, cared for, and significant to others - as a basic psychological need essential for wellbeing (Deci & Ryan, 2000).

Healthy connection needs are satiable (they can be met), reciprocal (involving mutual care), and autonomy-supporting (connection enhances rather than threatens independence). Narcissistic supply is insatiable (chronically needing more), extractive (one-directional), autonomy-undermining (others feel exploited).

Narcissistic supply serves to regulate a fragile, contingent sense of self-worth.

Arrogance vs. Narcissism

Arrogance and narcissism are often conflated, particularly now in social media, because they share surface features. Both involve an inflated sense of superiority and dismissiveness toward others. There are some distinguishing features that tell the two apart:

  • Arrogance is a feature of Narcissism.
  • The need for genuine connection is a missing with narcissism, interactions are intrustmental or transactional.
  • Arrogant people maintain genuine attachments and show authentic interest in others outside the domain of their superiority.
  • The narcissistically organised individual tends to relate to others instrumentally. So as sources of supply, mirrors for grandiosity, or threats to be neutralised.
  • Kernberg (1975) and Kohut (1971) both emphasised that narcissistic grandiosity masks deficits in self-cohesion and affect regulation.
  • When their superiority is challenged, a narcissistic person will respond with defensive rage, devaluation, or depressive collapse.
  • Arrogant person may also argue, dismiss, or simply not care which is why it's a feature of narcissism.
  • Arrogance tends to be domain-specific (one might be arrogant about professional expertise but humble elsewhere).
  • NARC (Narcissistic Admiration and Rivalry Concept)(2013) talks about self-promotional admiration-seeking and antagonistic rivalry, oriented toward maintaining a grandiose self-image rather than genuine connection.